the spread was enormous. the room was smallish, though, and books and paintings lined the walls, artwork of wicked lines and colours as if someone spilled drinks all over the canvases. food cramped all our plates and glasses and silverware to the edges of the table, and the ornate furniture which we and the food sat on was of the highest, most exceptional quality – antique, and very authentic, no doubt. i looked at the silverware and they were encrusted with diamonds. * annis, sitting close by at the round table, tried to act calm by smirking and looking as if she were going to take a fork. we gave a start as general taupe entered with a few guards who moved to the sides of the door in a mechanical, emotionless manner. * “hello,” he said, “please. sit. please.” he stopped at a chair across from us and gave us look as if he were our proud father. we stared at each other for a moment in silence. “i’m glad you could make it,” he finally said. and he sounded like he truly meant it. he looked at the table as he removed his gloves. “what do we have here…sarita? sarita, darling?” he called, and soon enough, a door opened behind us and a mexican woman, fat and glowing with a motherly disposition, stepped in. they had a small conversation in spanish, and she left again. “sarita,” general taupe explained. “she’s an absolute peach.” * he put his gloves in his coat and took the coat off, handing it to one of the guards. he pulled out the chair and sat down. he let out a happy sigh. “once again, she’s made entirely too much food. “johsnon, and…” he turned to look at the guard over his left shoulder and inspected the guard’s nametag. “ah. diggle. johnson and diggle. come eat.” * the guards looked at each other, taken aback, but taupe had turned again to face the table and said, “come on, come on, just sit down.” he looked to us. “you’re not going to try anything stupid here, are you? you’ll allow my guards to eat, won’t you?” * after a moment i let go of the steak knife i was holding under the table and lay it on my thigh. * “sure,” annis said. “why not? i can hold their guns for them while they eat.” * general taupe laughed. “please. relax. i’m sure you’re wondering about the food, it’s not poisoned. i’m sure you’re wondering about the building, it’s not a military base. i’m sure you’re wondering about the cubs, they’re all right.” there was a tinkle of silverware on the floor. general taupe looked at me and I could feel my face redden. “you better pick up that steak knife,” he said to me, “you’re going to need it for sarita’s pepper-crusted filet. she’s a brilliant cook but her steak…well…she just can’t see to master that…” * he was interrupted by sarita’s re-entrance, carrying a tray of glasses and fruit and a pitcher. she somehow found room on the table for this, and began pouring drinks. * “sarita’s sangria. boys,” he said, to the guards that had looked at each other once again as he said “sangria,” “oh, live a little, okay?” they each had a glass and soon enough we were all eating. * “so what’s going on,” annis asked. i suddenly noticed she wasn’t eating. “dinner,” general taupe said, smiling while he tried to cut a path through his filet. * “cut the bullshit,” she said, and the two guards stiffened and slowed their chewing. * “please,” he said. he motioned to annis and i with his knife, “the two of you have had a rough day. i’ve had a rough day. you’ve blown up three tanks, destroyed a pet store – let that be on your conscience forever – and i’ve had three of my tanks blown up and my kid’s favorite pet store destroyed. we’ll take a respite and resume hating each other after dessert. after coffee. i have dessert and then a little coffee. sarita makes the best cheese cake…” he was cut off by a deft move from annis who – in one motion – managed to chop the guard next to her out of his chair and onto the floor, coerce his weapon from his holster, and whip it around at the other guard, who looked rather pathetic mid-roll-buttering. * “oh, come on,” said general taupe, sitting back and looking a bit interrupted. “put that thing away.” * “listen,” annis said as i half-heartedly half-stood, still holding my fork with a piece of the black rock of filet, “we really appreciate the hospitality, but i think it’s time we were going. if you’ll just present us with the cubs…” * suddenly there was a clang of metal sangria pitcher-on-pate and splashes of sangria all over the place. annis dropped to the floor. standing over her was sarita, armed with a second sangria pitcher and looking a tad alarmed, as if she was surprised at how she reacted. she looked to general taupe and said something apologetic-sounding in spanish. * “that’s all right, sarita,” general taupe said as he looked at the fresh red wine stains on the carpet. “it’s not your fault. are you all right?” he asked the guard annis had chopped. the guard looked a little stunned as he made his way to his chair. “go have reynolds – you may continue to butter that roll, soldier – take a look at you. then come back if you want. there’s plenty to eat. as a matter of fact, bring reynolds.” * the guard picked up his weapon and looked at annis. “don’t worry about her,” taupe said. “she’ll be all right. off with yourself, then.” and the guard, a little unsurely footed, left. * “well,” he said to me, lifting his glass. “we should get to drinking this sangria. that way, all three of us will feel ill when we wake up tomorrow.”