post 77. unedited.

here's the aftermath of one of my morning writing sessions where i just type away for ten or fifteen minutes at a time without stopping to worry about spelling or fingers running amuck on the keyboard. (an amalgam of natalie goldberg's writing exercise and an improvisational dadist monologue) i like this one so much...i just might turn it into a play. that is, if i can find the patience to sort it out.

adsmiral cornwall called me into his office, which, surprisingly enough, was hidden from the sunligh5 by extre,e;ly well-done shades and curtains that looke as if they had cost the crown. Ah, he said, captan biggles. Ca[ptain, sir? I asked. Yes, biggles, you’fvre the finest officer in the frleet, boiy,m and I’ve decided that I’m giving you a ship. im giving you a ship and you’re about to go on the most perilious jourmey any british officer has ever undergone. yes soir. I ti thank yo, I stammered,tryng to keep my composure. I had nbo idea that…more time for the thanks agfter you’re finished wity your mission. of course, sir. what is it o’m to do? he unroilled a giat map acreoss his oak desk,. and began pointing at the area around the blackened isles. the isles to the north of Englkand, you’re fa,iliar, I suppose, with the vlack isles? of course sitr., ii smiled, knowing that my promotion might have been nothing more than fidning someone expendable enoughto engage the enemy,,..whoever thatmight be. the black isles are nknothe n=mosts notorioys trade routes we have, deliviering food to the north, but racked with piracy, underhandedness, and more strange anolmonlies than the broitsih gobvernmtne can answer to. our top scientists haven’t a cliue about some of the disappesrances that have besiueged the area. yes, wel;ll, that’s your charge. he said. I want you to take to the black isles and bring me Edward Teach. I tried to remain focuse, but couldn’t help but blink. Edward Teasch, sir? Yes. He’s the worst of the lot, and has sunk enough of our shops to make the queen worry about her entire emipuiry. we cannot let on that this scum an villainy can iset the british na,vy. of cuyrse not, sir. GFood. GHe looked at me square in the eye for a good thirty seconds, then rolled up the map and handed it to me. This is the best map you’ll ghave of the area, and caucus jhas more of them on your new shoip. Caucus, sir? Yes. Your first mate. He’s at your new ship. Very goods sir, I appreaciate the opppotrtunity to serve her majesty. I shan’t let you down.I began to take my leave of the room. Bifggles, report to 25 SDownington street on one hour. there you’ll meet caucus, and head down to your dhip. Ah. Bery good sir. YThe shiop, sir? May I ask. My mind imagined the Intrepid, although Captain Ferry would no doubt have something to say about it…and seeing as how I was on a dangerous mission, I actually expected far worse. He stepped to a window and began to drawa a shade. The Nautilus, XCaptian. He looked at me again in the eye. You’re taking the Nautilus. I took my leave and headed out the door. Be carefuil, biggley, said Millivcent. Ah, fret notr, darling, I dsaid, as I kissed her hand, I’ll be bnack in time for tea. I went home and felt ill. The Nautilus. I had no idea of such a ship. It WAS far worse than I had imagined, and I was receving, no doubt, some slip-shod second rate vessel to go after a notorious criminal in the worst part of the sea. I packed as best I could in the time al;lloted and headed out to 254 Downington Street. It was a small, ill-kept bar/. I arrived in time to see a man stumble out in a pile of the filthiest clothes I had ever taken to see on a man. He fell to my feet ands looked up at me. Mo’nin, gov’nuh, you’re looking fancy. I stepped over him and he grabbed for my leg at which I kicked. Sudden;y in one motion the man had swept up, taken my leg and thrown me to the ground with sucvh spoeed that I was barely capable of thinking. I spun on the ground and tried to kick at him, but he vblocked the shot and then pulled me off the ground with a deep laugh and so unassumingly threw me into the pub that I thought I might be in for a little more than I was mentally prepared. I grabbed at a chair and flung it at him but he put up his arm, and withouth the slightest wince, the chair broke. You’re going to have to do better than that, Captain. I tried a mauever I picked up whjile on leave in Japan, dropping to the floor and spinnig a kick towards his legs; success! As he fell from this more sophisticated dueling move. I stood and regained my sensees and took in mny surroundingfs. He stood as well, and I cleared some room between us. Nie, Captain. Again – Captain. How did he know? Liucky guess? Spy? There was a clamoring around us, and the bar’s complement stood from their chairs and formed a circle around us. Filthy, smelling of lkager, sweat, and ill-rapor. Then I heard the unsheathing of metal. The clicking of pistols. I admit to a small amount of sweating. I’m here on official business of of the crown. I know, the man said, and he put his hand out. I’m Caucus. What? I’m Causus. I’m the first mate of the Nautilus. Your new ship. Sorry about the rough stuff, but, well…we like to make sure our cap’n is of the right…mettle. There was a gurgle of laughter in the bar, and the crowd took a step in. That was quite the nice move there…kung-fu? I spied him and then the rest of the bar suspiciuously. The crew odf the Nautiolus has been lots of places, Cap’n, and we’ve all poicked up a little something. For example. Pickwick there – he motioned to a dark and discgusting-looking man wearing a red tunic and a bandolier of metal throwing stars – has learned all of the best maneuvers of the orient. Most of them in the bedroom, Pickwick said, and the complement laughed. We’ve al;l mastered the art of gunpowder, and, well…he motioned to his arm…that’s where I picked up this, wasn’t it, Cage? Sure thing, Caucus. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal an arm covered in metal. Engraved in such a design as I had never seen before. A steel sheath? No, cap’n, a while arm. and they all laughed. Ah, he said, looking at my expression, boys, he said, addressing the crowd, we have a full-on captain now, someone official. What’s going on here? Who are you? Are you of the brostish Navy? More laughing. All right, answers. I said.Answers you will have then. Please. Sit, Captain. Can I get you a dirnk? No, thank you. A whicxkey, bartender, Caucus said, and one was presentd to him and he put it down in front of me. If you’re my first mate, Caucus, you’ll know when to obey a captain’s order. I’m youre first mate, Captain Bifggleds, and I’ll obey your orders when I know they’re what’s best for you. He sat across from me and pulled out a piece of paper. This, Captain, is a picture of Edward Teach. Blackbeard the Pirate. It was the most stunning thing I had ever seen before in my life. There in the piece of paper was the most life-like drawing I had ever seen. A portrait, Captain, done by our operatives using a new system of portraiture we call a camera obscura. This is your man. We have been together as a crew for twenty years now, under the helm of Captain Nemo He paused, and looked me dead in the eye. Capatin Nemo as the greatest seaman to ever sail tht eseas or walk the earth. He was at hoime in the sea, and it was his mind from which the Nautilus came. It was from his mind that the camera obscura came. he’s made advancements in all the world’s sciences. And he was a great man. A pearl in this terrible world. Blackbeard killed him. almost destroyed the nautilus, and stole her from us. He took some of her workings, but…we managed to escape before he stoile too much. Stoole the workings, I asked. How do you think that Blackbeard has evaded capture of the british fleet, the mighty british fllet? He knows the inlets and cbays of his surrounding,s, and runs a low boat, I said. Caucus smiled, and sat back. The Nautilus is no oordinary ship, captain Biggles. It is a monument. A marvel. a machine of such power that none have been able to copy it. Yet it works fort the britsish government? For now, yes, he said, and looked at his shipmates. We agreed to be captained in return for one thing – Blackbeard. Blackbeard himself. And, I suppose, his treasure, I said, and the crew took a discernible step towads me in an ugly manner., You take us for piorates, for scum, fo villainy, do you, Captain Biggles? We are men of the sea, and men without our captain, without our father, without Captain Nemo. We want nothing but justice, the treasures oif Balckbeard – both real and imagined – be damned. We will have revenge. And we need your government to help us. Besides. Captain Nemo left us instructions. He was a man of considerable connections, and we were told that…in his passing…to seek out help from the British. I’ve never heard of this Nautilus. Well, then, he said, it looks as if we’ve don e our job quite well then!!! And the men laughed. Shall we go take a look at the Nautilus? He said, and stood. I paused a moment, looking Caucus in the etye. This was madness I was sure, but I had orders, and my interest was piqued. I stood and Caucus stuck his hand out. I shook it. We’re happy to have you aboard, Captain biggles. Your father and Captain Nemo were old friends. My jaw dropped. What did you say? Come, please,. Caucus said, in a fatherly tonme. Let’s get to the ship and begin our journey. Are we clear, bartender? yes, he said, and pulled out a bottle that was attached to a wire, and sudden;y a massive wall of stone at the back of the bar was opened and a staircase lit by firelight was presented. To the bottom of the well, men…we have a new Captain! And the men cheered in a low, thundering, ominous way, one that wasn’t the sort of ceremony I had hoped to receive upon my first command.